I keep hearing all the hype about "Fifty Shades of Grey". The women's movement call it a "how to" on abusing a woman, the religious keep calling it "porn", and others are curious as to why any woman would allow herself to be "abused" in the name of love. "The Fifty Shades of Grey" is one of the many books that can be found in any bookstore on the subject of BDSM. Some others are: "The Sleeping Beauty Quartet" by Anne Rice, "Crossfire" book series by Sylvia Day, and "The Story of O" by Pauline Reage, just to name a few. All you have to do it look for them, in my local Barnes & Noble there are shelves of books regarding BDSM.
Ana, chooses to enter a Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC) relationship with Christian. She chooses to allow Christian to use her body as he sees fit, for his pleasure as well as hers. Christian does not abuse her in anger, he uses implements (blindfolds, crops, restraints) to make her complaisant to his will, his pleasure, and her pleasure. A Dominant/Master(D/M) is responsible in every way for his submissive/slave's well being (mental and physical). A good D/M
will always take care of his/her sub/slave with aftercare, including but not limited to bathing her, applying salve/unguents to any mark made, holding her as she sleeps.
A Dominant/submissive (D/s) or Master/slave (M/s) relationships exist in everyday life. Most call it "She wears the pants in that family" or "Wow, she cannot make a decision without him". If a man or woman is in a relationship where one of the partners makes all the decisions, that can be termed a dominant/submissive relationship. No relationship is without a a "stronger" partner, many times the stronger partner is the woman. Does this make it "wrong"? "No," would be the answer because it works for them. To be honest who am I to make a judgement about how any couple in today's world chooses to live their lives, their relationship, or their marriage.
Abuse has NO place in a D/s or M/s relationship ever. A D/M NEVER hits, uses, or plays/sessions while he is angry. This is a steadfast rule of 99% of real D/M's.
The Holy Bible states in Colossians 3:18-19 the following: "...Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them...". For me many do not understand this passage; many couples assume that it means that the "husband" should be in charge in every aspect of the relationship. But God does NOT ask the woman to be a "doormat". He[God] asks for her discernment in all things regarding to their marriage and everyday life. A very good website regarding this is, "Girls Gone Wise"[1].
Myself, I live in a relationship that is considered to be D/s. My fiance and I have both been part of this lifestyle for over twenty (20) years. I am not ashamed to say I am collared to my fiance, as my outward sign is a simple ring he purchased for me to wear. Do we flaunt our lifestyle? "No, we do not." Do we know others in the lifestyle, "Yes, we both do." Do we belong to a club, "No we do not at this time," both of us have been part of local BDSM scenes in our former states of residence for me New York, and he, Florida. Are there many BDSM organizations & clubs, "Yes there are many, some of them are very old and very reputable, other are what we 'Old Guard' term the 'Fly by Nights' which are here today and gone tomorrow usually run by those whom have been in the lifestyle under five (5) years, and do not know what they are doing when it comes to handling implements or handling their personal relationships."
I know many whom are involved in this type relationship whom are doctors, lawyers, judges, nurses, and many in law enforcement, and other in all walks of life. Do we look at these people differently? "No", we look at them as people whom take care of us, whom enforce the law, and pass judgement in courtrooms.
If you wish to read more about BDSM, I recommend the following website: "A Submissive's Voice"[2] which is written by a submissive. The blog is to help those who wish to know more about the BDSM lifestyle.
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[1] http://www.girlsgonewise.com/7-misconceptions-about-submission/
[2] http://asubmissivesvoice.blogspot.com/
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