Toddler's & Tiara's

For those of you whom do not know what I am talking about, tune into TLC on Wednesdays at 9 p.m. for a whole new meaning of the title "Stage Mother". Some of these women need to get a grip on reality, truly! Dressing your yet to be 2 yr old on up in dresses that cost a fortune, tweezed eyebrows, making them up like street walkers is NOT good for any child, let alone a girl. 

Childhood should NOT be filled with the angst of "not being good enough to win the 'supreme trophy' at the end of the pageant" it should be filled with playing, pre-k, potty training, jumping rope, playing hopscotch, have tea with your friends, and making mud pies. I doubt that any of the little girls I saw on television last night is allowed to do any of those things, let alone get dirty. 

PLEASE, please, please don't tell me your child just LOVES to do this, they don't their crying as your make them up, rehearse constantly, tease their hair (one little girl looked as if she was losing her hair due to all of the processing that was done to it). If you have to bribe your child to sit still long enough to have makeup put on, have rollers taken out, or do it one more time for momma it means you as a parent have crossed a line. I saw one child through a fit because she didn't win the top prize, my initial reaction was, that child needs a swat on the behind and a nap! By the way, a swat on the behind NEVER killed any child, period! 

Honestly I blame the parents whom think that this will make their child more popular, it wont. LIFE is NOT a popularity contest, period. If you truly think it is, you need to honestly take a good long look at your finances, your home life, and your other children that by the way you are neglecting because you are raising the next Little Miss Sunshine, Miss California Tropic, Miss whatever pageant you are at. While I think that a young lady at twelve or thirteen whom wants to enter a local pageant to see if she can make it is all well and good, however anything younger than that is way too damn young!!!

For all of the father's out there whom allow their little girls to be tarted out, then put on stage every weekend or other weekend, grow a set. Say, "NO" to your wife, sure she isn't going to sleep in your bed, do your laundry, or cook your supper however you will be showing the world you wear the pants in your family and you refuse to have your child dangled like a piece of meat for all to see and bid on. Good self esteem is built when children are raised with God, morals, rules, and boundaries. If you do not believe me ask Dr. James C. Dobson, a Child Developement expert. 

Don't our girls have enough to contend with as they become young ladies? Peer pressure for them to be thin (anorexia, bulimia), popular (sexually promiscuous), and being like the starlets they see in Hollyrude. 

Yes, now I will get off my soapbox and put it away! 

WHAT DO OUR CHILDREN NEED???

To thrive a child needs love, food, clothes, a roof over their heads. 

They do not need: iPod, iPhone, 40" flat screens, cable with all the channels/dvr, designer clothing, handbags, plastic surgery, a new car.

They need to learn responsibility, period. That means they know that every action has a reaction. That for every thing that they do correctly will bring laud & adoration (remember potty training?); for every thing they do wrong brings punishment (time out? corner time?). This is called: PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. 

If you fail to teach your children responsibility in spending, living, honesty how do you as a parent expect them to leave your home at age eighteen, go to college, get good grades, graduate, get a job?  Responsibility is taught at home. It is not up to the teachers, administration or professors to teach this to your child. It begins when they are toddlers, picking up their toys is not a hard chore; they may not do it to your specification, however if all the toys end up put away, then they have learned something. As youngsters, have them make their beds daily, keep their rooms picked up, hang up the towels after showering/bathing. It may not be the way we as parents want it to look, however they are learning to pick up after themselves. These small things will give you more time to do something you as a mom or dad want to do (i.e.: read a chapter of a book, call a friend, answer an email, etc). Chores never hurt any one of my friends, in fact it was always more fun doing chores at my friends house than it was at mine, and vice-versa. 

I have children, my children know what it is to work. They are all personally responsible for themselves. Does that mean I haven't spoiled them at Christmas or their birthday? No, it means that when they did wrong they were punished; when they did right they were rewarded. 

We are growing a generation of children who are ungrateful, lazy, whiny, brats. 

What are you as a parent going to do about it to change this trend?

Gifts My Father Gave Me

He gave me his name. It was his father's before that, it is also the name that I keep clean.

He taught me to measure twice, cut once. My father was a master carpenter and lay out iron worker. He taught me to always measure twice and cut once, to me it meant to always check my work, check things out before proceeding with anything. 

My dad was an organic gardener way before it became popular with the "beautiful people". He did his very best to use compost, manure, plants to ward off insects and animals. Every spring he would spend hours tilling up a 50'w x 20'l section of our backyard to garden. It had everything, tomatoes, lettuce (3 or 4 varieties), corn, peppers, zucchini, herbs (parsley, chives, basil, oregano), pumpkins, horseradish, radishes, and baby carrots for the kids my mom watched. Everyday he would come home, drop his lunch pail on the steps, change his shoes and go to the garden where he would pull a carrot for every child there. He washed them, trimmed the greens, and handed them out like candy on Halloween. After that, he would pick whatever was ripe, rinse it off, and bring it in the house to be used at supper. We never bought produce in summer, ever. I remember one time he saw one of our neighbors planting flowers, he said to him, "If you can't eat it why plant it?" this came back to me when I came home to live and tried my hand at gardening. As I would be kneeling in my flower garden I would hear him whisper, "If you can't eat it, why are you planting it?". Thus began my foray into organic gardening with a few tomatoes, herbs, a pepper plant or two. 

When I was about ten or so, my mom wanted me to have a desk. She looked all over, she & dad drove to a place an hour away just to see what they had. When both of them agreed that for the price ($150 in the 70's) it wasn't a nice piece of furniture, my dad decided to make me one. Of all of the furniture that is in my home, this is my prize possession. It was made for me, and me alone. It has traveled with me when I moved, and came home with me when I came home. 

My dad was a Marine. That's right I didn't date until I was about 16, and then some of the guys never came back they were so afraid. But dad taught me to love our flag, to love the freedom it stands for, to respect the men and women who wear a uniform, no matter what branch, or when they served. That is why I go out of my way to say, "Thank you" when I see someone in uniform. 

Last but not least, dad gave me his love. Taught me that I was worthy of respect. Thank you dad for all of these things and so much more. I love and miss you on day's like today. I will be listening for more of your whispers when you are ready to let me hear them. 

Parenting Today!?

Can someone please tell me where discipline went? Did it fall to the wayside because we are afraid of a visit from DSS because we choose to say, "No" or swat their behind when they do something wrong? Something is very wrong in this nation when a government agency has more control over your children & household than you (if you are married, your spouse) do. 

What I thought was going to be a nice quiet weekend, filled with doing some things i love to do (i.e.: farmers market, brunch with girlfriends, maybe a ride to take some pics, etc) began with a horrific crash Friday about 5:05p.m. when one of the youngsters (age 8-10) was throwing a basketball against the complex and broke the window above my head. NO, I did not get hurt, yes there was a mess to clean up (and a mess when the window is replaced tomorrow by the owners of the complex), yes I did call the police. They could not do anything about it however I wanted it known I was not happy. 

A few hours after this happened I heard another neighbor admonish the child for his choice places to throw a ball, (there is approximately a 1/2 acre behind my building that is all grass), when his mother heard this she began starting in with the, "how dare you blame my child speech." This is the child who runs wild from 8a.m. on Saturday morning until 8p.m. Sunday evening with no parent or parental control in sight. I guess I was a "mean mom" I had to know where my kids were at all times, I made them eat breakfast--yes breakfast, cereal or toast, I also would not hesitate to swat them in a grocery or department store if they did something wrong, both my children grew up to be respectful adults. I also had a mean mom too! 

If you are afraid social services will come take away your child because you punished them, there is a problem. If you are afraid your neighbors will turn you in because you swatted his or her behind there is a problem, if you cannot control your kids, get help. 

By the way, no one has come by to apologize to me for the broken window. Okay I will step off my soapbox and put it away for another day!